Day 7: 31 - Expectations

Day 6: 31 - New Traditions...

It's been rough the last week... I vacillate between feeling fine and feeling a little overwhelmed, and then there are times when I am feeling completely overwhelmed and the tears come and I just have to sit in the moment and let it pass.

Because that's all you can do, right? Just sit and let it pass?

image from National Geographic

In the mean time, I'm adopting some new traditions; my sweet friends have been so kind with suggestions for things to do! Walks to look at Christmas lights, focusing on Solstice, baking or crafting with the smalls, watching holiday themed movies that I have never seen (or re-watching a few that I have), and I've taught myself how to make Moravian stars. (I began with an instructional video, but grew increasingly cranky as the directions made no sense - so I ended up stopping the video and examining the general idea behind the stars... Once I figured out the pattern, I was unstoppable.)

I powered through decorating the tree and the mantel... I found that it was a little anxiety producing (and the boxes for the ornaments are still in the dining room) but it was nice that the kids helped for a little while. I ended up puttering in the living room until midnight on Sunday... I chose to put all of the sweet candy-themed and woodland critter type ornaments up this year. We have a ton (one more thing to go through and thin out)... and the tree is festive, but edited this year. I chose to set out all of my little animal figures for the creche. The baby Jesus is being played by a small owl this year. I do think that I could use a few additional animals - the unicorns are conspicuously absent.

It's not feeling "better" yet, it's not fixed. I don't know when it will be. But I can wait. Because in the mean time, my discomfort is leading me further from the things I *don't* like about the holidays, and closer to the things that mean something.


It's a work in progress. I'm a work in progress.

Day 4:31 - Self Sufficiency

I'm feeling gratitude for this little dude today. He's a hoot. He's a charmer. He's a big thinker, with abstract concepts and machinations. He's got a heart of gold, he's sweet to his sister and his dogs, he's got the touch of a natural healer, and he goes balls to the walls in everything he does. His fearlessness and gusto for life make me proud to be his mama. And at age 6, he's reading and making his own scrambled eggs. Heartbreaker.

Day 3:31 - Caffeinated Galaxies

This cup of coffee, just one a day. so simple, but the depth of comfort is wide reaching, and multi-layered.

I'm thankful for a good cup of coffee in the morning.

Today I meet up with my dear friend Mark Teresa. He'll probably make me cry as he asks how I am, but I'll be thankful for that, too.

Thankful for coffee with a good friend.

Tiny Castle Dreams... Wishing

This house is in my neighborhood, and sits on a steep hill in a funny location.

The yard isn't very big. The house itself isn't even very big. The parking looks like it would be a pain, on this steep hill. But there is something so sweet about this tiny castle that calls to me. Secretly, I imagine living there, like a castle in the mist, and fixing it up with all of the decorations and pretty things that my little heart desired... I imagine under-the-staircase hidey-holes, and stacks of books in cozy rooms, kitchens with tea water going, a fire in the fireplace, and rugs layered in every room.

Is it possible to live in two houses at once? Because I would very much like to spend the night here... and make it my own.

Day 2:31 - Frost

Day 1:31 - Live your Passion

I recently blogged about how the holidays are hard for me. Like, daily tears from right after Thanksgiving through Christmas. I'm working on it. Working on finding ways to counteract the lingering effects of the fire, of ways to re-learn to love the winter holidays, and ways to continue to connect with the people I love. In December, I'll be trying on some of the suggestions that people sent on Twitter and Facebook for me, and I'll also begin my latest project, which involves combining my interests into a passion-filled life... I have a feeling that I'll be discovering some things that are good, some that are not-so-good, and some things that might be downright horrid about myself... But I'm cool with that, because nothing good is ever easy...

Each day in December I'll also be working on the bigger project - loosely, it has to do with happiness, brewing, spirituality, creativity, and community.

Ah. Beauty... While I'm working on the *inside,* I thought there should also be some visual beauty to appreciate and aspire to as well. I showed these to my daughter last night - she's a dancer, so she appreciates the skill with which these three move. My son, only six, is ahead of his time in physical dexterity - I imagine I'll show him these, and he'll be experimenting with yoga and parkour (he already hangs out on the ceiling)... these boys in the videos are insanely talented, but look at them; you can tell by the way they move through space that they are doing what they love. And the contortionist in the hoop? Gorgeous.

That passion makes their movement even more beautiful.






This World from Alex Yde on Vimeo.






Break ton Neck from Alex Yde on Vimeo.

This is beautiful... I love the way she makes it look effortless.








What can you do to move through space and time living your passion? I'm working on finding mine... I'll let you know how it goes. If you have things to share, let me know!